it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize