this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
