If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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