If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
