If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
