two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
