I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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