she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
