we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Bring me that man meat
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
