have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
