I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do vagina's smell?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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