we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
