just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
