how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
