definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
