Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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