wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
