My sheets look like a crime scene.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
