Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
