at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
