Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Floor bacon is actually really good
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
