Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
