I haven't been this sober since birth.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
