My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize