I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
