there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
