Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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