the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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