twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize