I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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