I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
