smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
