You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
