their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
