He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
