I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.