someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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