Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
