Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
