I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
