i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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