I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize