Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
