i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
