Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
