Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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