I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
should my penis look like a turkey
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am one with the molecules
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
