So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
