Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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