I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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