# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
