If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
