After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
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