The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
