I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
