why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
