She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
