he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
