Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
